A few hours had passed after consuming the recommended amount of nutmeg which I had purchased from the local shop. Such disastrous consequences to be had from a substance defined as legal, such hallucinogenic properties to be found as the key to a new awakening of my deep, inner subconscious. “A legal high” I thought to myself as I led smiling to myself in my bed. It figures, due to the paucity of psychotropic antics which I was eager to experience and yet until now eluded me.
As I waited with my eyes shut I began to produce an internal monologue of my feelings and current state. “I feel quite alright” I thought to myself. I began to debate the legality of the substance, calling it “an abomination and indictment of this countries legal system”. How could a drug with such severe side effects and adverse effects including visual and auditory hallucinations be legal and readily available to any and all who walk into the store in a society which demonizes marijuana. Marijuana being a drug with defined medicinal benefits with no chemical addiction or long-term effects.
“Perhaps it is you who is broken”
“Perhaps… however this does not explain the general ignorance or failure to recognize both sides of the debate. It is as though they entered the court with a pair of fluffy pink earmuffs to void them of the responsibility of having to uphold their supposed democracy… wait, who was that?”
I opened my eyes. In the corner stood a skinny, skeletal scoundrel that I can only describe as Gollum’s less vertically challenged brother. He stood by my door, his ribs overhanging, his eyes shrouded and as dark and reflective as a black mirror. A mirror which if one were to gaze into for long enough, one would be able to enter a realm of enhanced perspective, an ecstacy fueled vision of the forgotten realities of the habitual drug users. Too stoned to comprehend, and too mindless to remember… I find a pen and paper helps. The mans skin was a pasty, translucent white and crawled with black, snakelike veins. His jaw locked open as he trembled with oozing black liquid which meandered around his teeth.
A few minutes passed, all awhile I stared back asking him simplistic questions in a futile effort to provoke some kind of response. I questioned him, I asked his name, his origin and why he had joined me on such an auspicious night. He remained silent. I decided not to pursue this further and so rolled to my side to ignore him. I began to close my eyes, my mind began to drift onto seemingly more pressing matters such as what state I would be in the next day.
“If I just turn my head to the side… and shut my eyes…”
Suddenly I became subject to a deathifying scream of such amplitude that it shook me to my very core. The moment I ripped open my eyes, it was gone. I looked at the man again as he stared vacantly back, the intensity of my glare began to make my eyelids heavy. I decided once again… to drift off and… fuck sake!
The man belted another piercing scream, this time giving away his foul intent; to prevent me from delightful slumber.
“Two can play at this game”
I decided to establish a new perspective, I stood thinking to myself that the man led in bed looks rather disgruntled, noticing that it was actually me. I stepped closer to myself to see pale white eyes surrounded with curling black veins as I smiled and began to hysterically laugh. The man in the corner continued to scream as I pondered my new self.
“Is my new perspective the product of a memory lodged in my subconscious and brought to life by this drug? Is this temporary construct the result of an opened memory from the countless times I had seen this room from this angle, amalgamated with countless others including my time spent looking in the mirror which has provided a scale accurate map of my own features? Had I really watched that much Lord of the Rings?! Am I dead?! No… the man in the bed looks very much alive.”
I then decided in my infinite wisdom to don a pair of fluffy pink earmuffs which I happened to be holding. I turned to a free-fall through a portal of spiraling blue, glass shards. I was stopped by the abrupt sound and feeling of my face impacting my pillow.
“My new perspective is a thing of the past”
I said to myself.
I was now unable to hear the man in the corner of the room. My eyes were closed to avoid further witnessing this terrifying apparition in an attempt to get some much-needed rest. Without opening my eyes I saw myself generate from a flash of clinical white light. I was now led lifeless while wearing a white gown and the earmuffs in a white padded room desolate of any objects or distinguishable features. I was able to see myself with my eyes shut, an omnipresent perspective which I seemed to have no control over. I felt an unnerving presence followed my rippling vibrations that resonated my bones as I felt it draw nearer. Then I saw it. It’s mouth gaped across the entirety of its face with serrated white teeth protruding asymmetrically, it had no eyes, hair or nose, only stretched skin with indents where its empty sockets lay. He knelt next to me and began to move his chaffed lips, the cool chill of its breath shot goosebumps across my neck and further instilled a morbid feeling of death which accompanied its presence.
Its whispers continued, undefined by my muted ears until a single word broke the silence. A word that even today induces an icy chill down my spine; “fear”. It’s voice was a grainy crackle which shocked me to my very core. My closed eyes ripped open to reveal a glaze of black decorated with electric blue and yellow lightning which covered any white surrounding my matt black pupils. This word drained every ounce of blood from my body, leaving a resting pale skeleton with a stretched skin canvas clinging to it. My world was plunged into darkness, and so ended the first night of the promised three-day trip.
I should add that I do not recommend trying nutmeg for the intention of hallucinating. The risk outweighs the result. I am not responsible for anyone trying this themselves and do not condone doing so.